Rowen Of Your Mother

09:35 pm - Crash

In case any of you haven't heard, Crash did win tonight at the Oscars fort Best Picture.

Do you know what that means?

That's right. You'll have to hear it again.

I FULLY take credit for ANY of you liking Crash. I saw it before you. I knew about it before you. I liked it before you. I told anyone and everyone about it. You. Fucking. Suck. As humans.

You assholes.

Edit: I'm always so angry the day after crazy parties. Shit.

03:14 pm - 2005

In 2005 I...

-Made stupid decisions
-Lost a great love =(
-Learned so much from many mistakes
-Got 100x hotter
-Went through the worst times of my entire life
-Went through the best times of my entire life
-Made two amazing new best friends <3
-Came up with a career goal
-Realized I was much cooler than I thought I was
-Greatly improved my sense of fashion
-Started using a flat iron
-Colored my hair
-Smoked marijuana for the very first time (!)
-Widened my music tastes
-Got my FUCKING car stereo stolen (I swear to fucking god it was better than any gay shit that you have or have ever seen, faggots)
-Worked at Barnes & Noble and loved it (more than q-zar)
-Improved my social skills
-Improved my negative attitude to a much more positive one (but still negative)

In 2006 I will...

-Quit Barnes & Noble
-Begin hairstyling
-Get 200x hotter
-Not make stupid mistakes
-Get a new, better car stereo
-Appreciate what life has to offer


2005 was by far the most impacting year of my life. What did YOU think about MY 2005?

03:23 pm - Stylish

Ahh, a day on the town...

12:20 pm - MERRY WHAT?

Instead of generically wishing everyone a merry christmas, I'm just going to say that I'm tired of seeing pictures of male jocks with their shirts off on Myspace. This isn't the fuckin' 90's and no one cares about being "ripped" anymore you polo-shirt gelled-hair beer-buddy faggots. GOD I love being skinny in this day and age.

I also hate it, but not as much, when people post pictures of themselves in the army or in army gear. No one will respect you any more than they normally would. Especially in the age we live in, where standing up for your country is useless because everyone is confused and no one knows what the hell America is fighting for anymore. Remember when all of America used to have the same goals and mindsets? You can't do anything anymore with out SOMEONE disagreeing with you. And this is all thanks to not only foreign countries in general, but mainly to two faggy towers that no one knew about or cared about until they exploded. Cue someone breaking into tears.

That reminds me. I know it's against the "rules" or whatever they're called, but can we bring back Bill Clinton? Who cares if he fucked a bitch? That just proves that he's the man. And that's what I want. Our country being run by a man. Bush walks, talks, and acts like a huge flaming faggot and I'm tired of seeing him everywhere. I wish we could CHOOSE which presidents get assassinated.

Those are my christmas thoughts. Put them under a tree and open them.

01:15 pm - I can't even REMEMBER the last time I bought a video game

Guitar Hero for fuckin' life.

01:25 pm - RENT

Best movie of the yesr besides Crash.

You fucking Harry Potter four-faggots.

And I am SO fucking glad I was THE first to know about this movie, and had been anticipating it heavily for 9 months now.

You fucking poser motherfuckers. God you piss me off so much.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Happy fucking Thanks.

12:44 pm

OH MR. MITCHUM. YOU KEEP ME SO CLEAN AND DRY. OH MR. MITCHUM.

What kind of deodorant do YOU smelly faggots use?

And don't worry, replying doesn't automatically make you a smelly faggot, scaredies.

08:23 am - Angry

FUCK.

YOU.

6+ DAY SICKNESS.

PLEASE LEAVE MY FUCKING BODY.

Every night for the past 6 days I have prayed to the GODS OF SICKNESS for me to get the fuck better. And what? Nothing. In efforts to get better, I've drank almost a half a carton of orange juice each god damned day, taken my medicine accoringly, gotten plenty of rest and not exhert myself, gotten at least 8 hours of sleep every night, eaten shitty ass healthy shit like Veggie Sandwhiches, and taken loads of Vitamin C pills.

Is it at all a possibility that all of this is making me in WORSE shape? Because I aint heard of no fuckin' 6 (and going) day sickness.

My shit has formed from cold->flu->Bronchitis. Doctors say I'l soon hit cancer, and if I'm lucky, Mr. AIDS himsef.

EVERY fuckin' disease is taking it's turn fucking me in every orpheus of my body, slowly building up until the final day, in which they all gangbang me at the SAME time.

Worst part is, I can't REMEMBER what it's like to have a fucking cigarette.

Woudn't you be as pissed as I am? Let's hear your opinions, you healthy fuckers!

04:22 pm

Black stand-up comics won't shut the fuck up about sports and how "different" and "unfair" thier race is treated. Just like how older-aged stand-up comics won't shut the fuck up about politics.

Fuck sports.

Fuck racial complaining.

AND FUCK POLITICS.

I could make an impact on stand-up comedy in a second, you unfunny faggots.

11:19 pm

07:54 pm - Well shit

I'm sitting here, on a saturday evening, about as deathly sick as a 6-year old girl on AIDS. That's right. I said "On" the AIDS virus. She doesn't just "have" it. She's "on" it. And that "she" is me right now, to tell you the truth. I'm deathly sick, like I always seem to be. I'm forced to sit here on my day off from work, a saturday of all days, when everyone else is having some certain annual special event. What the hell am I doing with my life when it comes to this, huh? Whatever, I'll just catch the next one, shit.

AIDS. I don't know how they do that, man. I can't stand being sick for a single day, let alone every single day for the rest of my life. Jesus. That really teaches me to stay away from the blonde white girls. If you haven't noticed, it's aways the blonde white girls who get pregnant at an unnacceptable time or contain some sick sexually transmitted disease.

Blonde white girls. I don't know how they do that, man.

I wanted to go see a movie by myself today and I couldn't decide between two, so I ended up not going. Choices were In Her Shoes, which I have been moderately anticipating for some time, and Waiting..., which honestly does NOT look all that fuckin' appealing, but the thought of a movie featuring Dane Cook AND Andy Milonakis in ANY form is a little hard to pass up. What's your take? And don't try suggesting any other movie because if it's good, I've seen it.

I'll P more later, yuckas.

04:47 pm

My birthday ends today, with my actual day of birth.

Thank you everyone, family, friends, loved ones, for the best three-day celebration of Sean Curtis anyone has ever witnessed.

May I never perish.

Current Mood: satisfied

12:33 pm

My birthday starts today.

02:27 pm

I would like to take this time out of this...time...to remind everyone:

My Birthday Is On The 25th (12 Days)

Celebration on the 24th (as always).

02:13 pm

Up until today, I believed I was dealing with the fact of a sudden loss of a girlfriend after 3 long years, the feeling of slowly drifting away from a best friend and no longer having that someone to really talk with, my entire family amotionally pressuring me to magically find out exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life, being threatened to be kicked out of my home every single day, my parents taking away my computer for good UNTIL I magically find out exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life, the rise and fall of Anti-Depressants, friends who can't be trusted, the feeling of being completely alone, absolutely hating the new department I have to work in almost every single day, and having the phrase "Why are you even taking classes anyways, you're just going to drop out" said to me by my very own mother...

Very Fucking Well.

Until it ended up being too much and having to completely break down today. And I keep trying. I really do. I keep trying to make something different of everything and stay positive and make an impact on my life but it never seems to help. Everything just keeps on coming back harder and harder.

I'm slowly being pushed and pushed to my limit by so many things at once and I don't know what to do.

12:47 pm

Right now, I'm proud to say that I am reading various versions of The Aristocrats joke here in the school library, RIGHT next to an attractive girl who, just 10 minutes ago, was clearly hitting on me.

Why am I stating this?

Because in no way, for any human being, no matter it be the hottest thing on the planet, the queen of France, Princess Diana’s corpse, or pounds of dust and debris from that hilarious New Orleans flood, am I going to politely put away something as groundbreakingly offending as The Aristocrats.

I’d also just like to give a heads up that if, given three weeks of opportunity, you haven’t seen the movie yet, you’re a complete ass.

Current Mood: Aristocratic

11:57 am - Does anyone else find this as funny as I do?

01:37 pm - Note to Self: See/be excited for the following movies

-Steal Me
-Eternal
-The Squid and The Whale

02:01 pm - The Aristocrats

So this guy walks into a talent agency and says to the talent agent “Have I got the GREATEST act for YOU”! And the talent agent says “Well okay, what do you do”? And the guy says “It’s great you’re gonna love it, it’s a family act. It goes a little something like this...

The red curtains open and there’s me standing in the middle of the stage, naked, with a rabbit up my ass hole. The rabbit’s half in, half out. Almost immediately, 3 huge dogs rush the stage and start eating the rabbit. Just tearing it to shreds out of my ass hole. Once they tear it up and spread blood and shit everywhere, my wife, who’s on her period, comes out with a shotgun and shoots the dogs in the heads while bleeding all over the stage. Blood, skulls, and cum everywhere. She picks up a dog skull and starts skull-fucking it with the strap-on dildo she has wrapped around her waist. I then take a spare skull and stick it up HER ass hole. I take the remaining dog skull and shove it down her throat. Before taking my arm out of her throat I decide it’d be a good idea to completely fist fuck the shit out my poor wife. As I’m fist fucking my wife, My son and daughter come out and start having sex on stage. No talk, just immediate sex, and total incest. While I do love the sight of my 6-year-old daughter fucking my 5-year-old son, I just can’t get enough of shoving my fist down my wife’s throat. Finally, when I feel I’m finished, I take my fist out from my wife’s throat, and sock her in the face. My wife gets up, socks ME in the fucking face, and I go down for at least 10 minutes. She sits on my stomach, vomits into my mouth, turns around, and for some reason, just starts going down on me, right then and there. After she’s done, she takes a thin metal rod and shoves it right up my urethra, up into my genital insides. While my genitals are pretty much getting ruined for the rest of my life, my two kids stop fucking each other and just start taking a shit all over the stage, while at the same time, singing “Hollaback Girl” by Gwen Stefani. They work their way around me and my wife’s extravaganza and make a big circle of shit and piss. The whole first three rows of the audience are completely covered with shit, piss, vomit, cum, and blood. Soon after that, the family dog comes out and fucks each and every one of us in the ass. I finally wake up, take a wooden, splintery hammer, and start beating the shit out of the family dog just as its finishing fucking my little girl. Just when I act as if I think everything is fine and dandy, my grandpa comes out and just starts cumming on everyone’s faces. How he has this much cum left in him, no one knows. He takes his wrinkly penis, wraps it around my son’s neck, and chokes him to death. We all raise our hands, take a bow, and piss and shit all over the stage one last time. And finally, for the finale, the dog stands up on its hind legs.

The talent agent says "Jesus Christ, that's one hell of an act. What do you call an act like that"? The father replies with...

"The Aristocrats!"

01:15 pm

Bubble.

Pop.

Elec.

Tric.